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rebel.ado.about.nothing

I like to believe that I am a writer, and a very good one at that. I like to believe that if you trace the many thoughts that race through my mind it may lead to some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I believe that if these gold nuggets of wisdom are shared with the world and all who live in it, human kind may learn from my life experiences through my words. With that underlying belief, I woke up today and my first instinct was to write. Write something down. Tell the world about itself. Tell people about themselves. Tell the world about people and tell the people about the world. I opened up my word processing application on my computer, I gracefully composed my fingers on my keyboard, poised to type, and … nothing. Yes, nothing. Nothing came to mind. But I decided to write anyway. Simply because I am a writer; and writers have to write, n’est ce pa?

So here I am rumbling about nothing and here you are reading this post and we are both asking the same question: “What is this post about, anyway?”. If you have an answer for me, I suggest you tell me now. If not, then we shall go on like this for the next two or more paragraphs until the ink dries out from my keyboard…ha. ha. haa. Like that’s ever going to happen.

I was hoping that as I hit the return key unto the next paragraph, some of the nugget of wisdom I boast of will fall unto my lap so I can sound like sage and so you can admire the deep insights I have to offer humanity. Unfortunately, that fails me. Being one with truck load of writing experience, one would not think that putting together something meaningful for my readers would be such a challenge. And yet, see the quandary that I find myself in. Seeing as I don’t have much else to say, I shall call this post to a conclusion and hope that as the day goes by, my brain, full of wit and wisdom shall bring my way thoughts that have some relevance to my readers and the general make up of society.

Until such a time, this is your favourite blogger, the Rebel Ryter signing out…

But one more thing I need to say, please accept my heartfelt apologies for not writing anything meaningful for your yearning eyes. I know you could have spent these 5 minutes doing something profitable with your lives, but you chose to read this unintelligible post. I thank you. Now this will be my very last line for this post.

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rebel.rapper.revealed

Hi People, the much anticipated not-so-live-interview of the rebel rapper is now available for your listening pleasure.

 

 

 

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the.rebel.rapper.raps

I’m sure you guys thought I was kidding when I said I was gonna drop my number one hit single titled, “My #1 Hit Single“. Well, there you have it. In stereo. The latest and most anticipated hit track. I’m so excited about it, you guys have no idea! This track is on every known deejay’s rotation! You better listen and tell your friends to tell their friends about it. This is the next big thing to hit the Ghana music scene. Play it in your cars, on your computers, walkmans, iPads, iPods, iPhones, Blackberry, whatever man!!! Just be sure to pump up the volume.

There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve enjoyed this piece of art immensely. It took no more than an hour to put this together, thanks to my able producer, Paapa (Skillions). The greatest producer ever known to man!

If you see me on the streets, don’t be shy to say hi. I’m a humble super star :-P.

I love y’all.

Peace.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2011 in Ghanaian Lifestyle, Hip Hop, Hiplife, Life, Music, Social Life

 

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the.rebel.rapper.reloaded.

In view of the latest trend in hiphop and hiplife and all that, as of today, I have decided to revive my rapping career. Yes, yes, yes, many of you don’t know that I used to be a rapper. Back in the day my stage name was wyzerymez and boy did I kill it. I was one of the best female rappers in my town. For real, for real, I was a damn good lyricist. I still am. Now it seems anyone who can hold a microphone by the neck calls themselves rappers. I’m here to change all that.

Now I am reinventing and relaunching my career as a rapper. My stage name shall be the rebel rapper. One that will rebel against all other forms of music in Ghana. Genre of music, rebel-life…or reb-life? Better still Hop-life music. Yea, that sounds right. Hop-life music it is. Introducing the Originator, the Grandmama, the Founder and CEO of Hop-life music….Yeah mehn. While y’all are fighting over who started hip-life and all that, Imma just start my own.

All I Need Is One Mic

All I Need Is One Mic

Be warned, I shall soon quit my day time job and start this ‘rapperdelic‘  lifestyle real soon that will ensure that I become famous in a matter of days, appear on Music Music and its cousin Sounds Splash, get signed by some telecom giant in Ghana and start my own Facebook Fan Page. I knew it was only a matter of time before my talent was recognized and now, my dear people, is the time!!!

This means a total wardrobe change, change in walk and talk.  In fact looking back, I should have quit school way back when I discovered this talent. If I’d quit school and stayed in the studio where all rappers live, I’d be one of the largest illest rappers in the game by now. But its never too late. In the 90’s we didn’t have MTV Base or any of those things to promote Ghanaian artists such as myself. But now there’s Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and so many more. That’s the reason why I believe that this is the right time to relaunch my career. In this present climate, if you’re a woman and dare to do what the men do, just play the women empowerment card and that right there, is your claim to fame. Soon I’ll be doing songs sponsored by the UN, NATO, NADMO, MOWAC, Zoom Lion, Talibans and all dem dems.

That's What I'm Talking 'Bout!!!

That's What I'm Talking 'Bout!!!

You see, I’ve been watching this game from the sidelines for a decade and a half now and I’ve mastered my game plan. For my single, I go sample some foreign beat (hopefully I’ll remember to give them credit and pay royalties), I’ll beg Wanlov to cough on the beat for me, then I’ll get Apietus to mumble incoherently for my chorus and finally I’ll find PSquare or some other well known Nigerian artist to feature on the track. And that right there my dear people is now you make an international hit that is ready to break all the records in music on the western part of this continent. Soon enough, I’ll be signed on to DefJam, Universal Studios, BMI, EMG or better still Konvict Records, and then there’ll be some controversy about the deal, which all the media houses in Ghana will pick on. And before you know it, the whole Ghana will be talking about me.

When it comes to dropping the full 12 track CD, the game plan is a little complicated, but I’m still on top of things. For that I may have to represent Ghana on Big Brother Africa. Try not to be the first person to be evicted from the house; I’ll stay there fore at least 40-60 days the Big Brother house. At every given chance, I’ll rap some of my songs into the mirrors. By so doing, exhibiting my talent to the entire African continent. Through that, I’ll make a few links then when I’m evicted, I’ll come home and feature Kwaku T, Sammy B and even, yes, even Mimi all on one track. That track will be called the Big Brother Connection. Oh, I have a lot of ways and means to succeed in this game. So you better watch out.

Now the last thing I need to do to top this all off is to develop a slang. Yup. It is very essential in this game. I for go see some one or two people who have perfected the art of acquiring foreign accents locally to tutor me for a few weeks. I’m a fast learner so that won’t be a problem. It’s a challenge, but if I must survive in this game, this I must do.

I’m currently accepting applications to fill any role imaginable on this career path. Help make my dream come true; by so doing, your dream will come true too.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 12, 2011 in Ghanaian Lifestyle, Hip Hop, Hiplife, Life, Music, Social Life

 

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the.definition.of.an.artist.

Following this 5Five and DJ Cyndo catastrophe, I’ve been thinking about how easily we call ourselves artistes when really and truly, there’s not a teeny weeny drop of art in us.

As an artist, I expect that you have something to say. Something that will change people’s lives and ways of being. Positively. You are not an artist simply because you can string meaningless words together and make them rhyme to some beat. You are an artist because you see the world differently and hope that your perceptions of the world will make life more enjoyable for others. Be it through poetry, music, dance, painting or sculpture. You are an artist because you can shape the way people see things with your artistic ability. As an artist you maintain your originality, as any perversion to your ideals signals your doom.

Contrary to popular belief, you are not there for the chicks or the bling. You are there because your heart sings the passion and the pain of the present and the vision of tomorrow. Don’t be fooled when all the girls and guys hype you up because you’re the in thing. It’s all ephemeral and in no time, you’ll find yourself in the middle of nowhere asking yourself questions that you should have asked yourself way before you started your journey into your so-called stardom. Whether you believe me or not, your “reign” will last as long as the rain in harmattan.

Wun.

 
 

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why.5Five.will.never.play.at.my.wedding

Truth be told. I’ve never been a fan of 5Five. I’ve always seen them as many of the one hit wonders in our entertainment scene. And I was am right. When their current single dropped, unfortunately, I liked it. I wasn’t happy that I liked it. In fact I was more aware of my surprise for liking it, that the fact that it was an enjoyable tune that was to be liked. Naturally, my default setting when it comes to hiplife music is “to be disliked on first hearing“. Fortunately, I have whitelisted a few exceptions that disprove the rule, but I’m very wary of those; and 5Five is not on that list. That said, I’m big enough to admit when I’m wrong, when I’m wrong. I was unhappy to admit that 5Five had managed to prove me wrong and work their way to my brownlist (awaiting approval to the whitelist club), with their Move Back track (featuring the one and only Apietus). Imagine my surprise when I heard this track from DJ Cyndo (youtube link below). No matter how slow your internet connection is, I implore you to have a listen.

 

Now check out this viral video oh 5Five’s Move Back.

Notice any similarities, correspondence, differences, or variance?

 

After hearing both tracks, a range of possible questions pop up in my mind.

  1. Was there a Sampling?
  2. If there was a Sampling, who is the Samplee and who is the Sampler (who sampled who?)?
  3. Did the Sampler pay dues to the Samplee?
  4. Is the Sampler aware that there is a Samplee around the corner?
  5. What will the Samplee do if they realize that the Samplee has given no credit for the Sampler’s hard work.

Sincerely, I want to believe that DJ Cyndo sampled our GH boys. But we all know that when it comes to the average GH hiplife track, they are live on Copy Cat Boulevard. So you be the judge. For me, this is why 5Five and several other hiplife groups will never ever ever play at my wedding!!!

 

 
4 Comments

Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Ghanaian Lifestyle, Hip Hop, Hiplife, Life, Movies, Music, Social Life

 

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dowry.cowry

I don’t usually like forwarded messages, but a friend sent me this and I just had to share it with you all. It is a list of the required dowry from the major ethnic groups in Ghana. I am uncertain as to who the author of this magnificent piece is, but I doff off my hat to this person. I have made slight modifications to suit the style of the RebelRyter’s Realm.

Just for the record, I am Akuapem, so this list will be added on to the list I so freely furnished in my previous post.

The Gas

  1. 10 pieces of white cloth (to be worn by the lady during pregnancy & for the outdooring)
  2. 20 crates of Star beer (10 for the mother-in-law, 10 for father-in-law)
  3. Albion or Nissan Bluebird car
  4. 4 live pigs (for domedo – a term for grilled/fried pork)
  5. One akasanoma radio (for listening to Obunu 93.3FM)
  6. 2 years advance rent (as you will be staying with your in-laws)
  7. 1 CD compilation of DJ Gblagazaa’s Mixx feat Screwface
  8. 1 Pair Trawler
  9. 1 drum of apeteshie – (a locally brewed alcoholic beverage – 100% alcohol). This will be for the purposes of offering libation.
  10. Valid residence preferably in James Town, Mpoase, Mamprobi, Chokor, Teshie, Tsui Bleeoo, Teshie Tiafi-ahe

The Ashanti

  1. Valid visa to Germany/Spain/USA
  2. Shares in Obuasi Goldfields
  3. 1 Store at a Commercial Business District
  4. A degree in “yobbing” (incessant and unnecessary bragging)
  5. DNA Test results to prove lineage to the Asante Kingdom
  6. Middle School Leaving Certificate (standard 7 accepted)
  7. 5 sets of mortar and pestle (for years of fufu pounding)
  8. Cassava & plantain farm (no fufu powder)
  9. Must speak fluent “capo” language
  10. 1 copy of Everyday English
  11. Valid residence in communities such as Abossey Okai, North Kaneshie, Sukura and Russia

The Ewes

  1. 10kg of “atama” snuff (for the father-in-law)
  2. Oversized Tema-station suit (for future growth and expansion)
  3. A Cassava farm
  4. Multi-colored XXXL towel for father-in-law (if he’s from the Southern Volta)
  5. 10 pieces of white “Obroni waawu” singlets (for the father in-law)
  6. 8 pieces of multicolored vest (for Mother-in-law). To be used on market days
  7. One stall at Asigame (for mother-in-law)
  8. Connections to work in government agencies preferably post offices and hospitals
  9. 20 sets of neatly wrapped chewing sticks
  10. My First Copy Book (for retired fisherman now turned student
  11. Valid residence preferably in these locations: Madina, Agbogba, Adenta, Haatso, Libya Quarters, Ashaley Botwe

The Kwahus

  1. 3 year valid SUSU Savings/account
  2. Hardware store- dealing in cement, iron rods, paints, roofing sheets etc.
  3. Middle School Leaving Certificate
  4. Ability to sponsor Easter trips back home every year
  5. Valid visa and work permit in Spain preferably apple plantations
  6. One drinking spot
  7. Valid residence in areas such as Dome, Taifa, Kwabenya, Saint Johns etc

The Krobos

  1. 30 packs of GSMF approved condoms (protection sake)
  2. 20 funeral cloths
  3. Ability to perform paternity tests often
  4. One blue kiosk
  5. 45 pieces of mercy soap/cream and ointment
  6. Residence in a compound house

The Akuapems

  1. a Presby Hymn book (Akwiapim Version)
  2. A Bible (Akuapem translation, hard cover)
  3. 2 tubers of yam for (otoh – mashed yam and palm oil meal)

The Fantes

  1. 20 crates of Ovaltine/Tetley tea bags
  2. 50kg of sausage
  3. 77 containers of jam/margarine
  4. 67 crates of ideal milk
  5. 10 boxes of turkey wings
  6. 6 crates of eggs
  7. 1 seagoing canoe
  8. Required High School-Adisadel College & Mfantsipim
  9. Participation in keysoap TV programmes especially Cantata & Concert Party
  10. Connection to work in government agencies such as Post office, Ministries and Newspaper agencies
  11. The man has to prove eligibility to rise up to be a Principal Secretary
  12. Qualifies to live in government bungalow
  13. A side plan (done by the most renowned architect in the country Architect……….) which will always be in his back pockets, to exhibit/show the building plan he will never be able to put up.
  14. Tons of carton of beefi nam for light soup.
 

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