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Category Archives: Movies

why.5Five.will.never.play.at.my.wedding

Truth be told. I’ve never been a fan of 5Five. I’ve always seen them as many of the one hit wonders in our entertainment scene. And I was am right. When their current single dropped, unfortunately, I liked it. I wasn’t happy that I liked it. In fact I was more aware of my surprise for liking it, that the fact that it was an enjoyable tune that was to be liked. Naturally, my default setting when it comes to hiplife music is “to be disliked on first hearing“. Fortunately, I have whitelisted a few exceptions that disprove the rule, but I’m very wary of those; and 5Five is not on that list. That said, I’m big enough to admit when I’m wrong, when I’m wrong. I was unhappy to admit that 5Five had managed to prove me wrong and work their way to my brownlist (awaiting approval to the whitelist club), with their Move Back track (featuring the one and only Apietus). Imagine my surprise when I heard this track from DJ Cyndo (youtube link below). No matter how slow your internet connection is, I implore you to have a listen.

 

Now check out this viral video oh 5Five’s Move Back.

Notice any similarities, correspondence, differences, or variance?

 

After hearing both tracks, a range of possible questions pop up in my mind.

  1. Was there a Sampling?
  2. If there was a Sampling, who is the Samplee and who is the Sampler (who sampled who?)?
  3. Did the Sampler pay dues to the Samplee?
  4. Is the Sampler aware that there is a Samplee around the corner?
  5. What will the Samplee do if they realize that the Samplee has given no credit for the Sampler’s hard work.

Sincerely, I want to believe that DJ Cyndo sampled our GH boys. But we all know that when it comes to the average GH hiplife track, they are live on Copy Cat Boulevard. So you be the judge. For me, this is why 5Five and several other hiplife groups will never ever ever play at my wedding!!!

 

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2010 in Ghanaian Lifestyle, Hip Hop, Hiplife, Life, Movies, Music, Social Life

 

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ghallywood?oh.you.mean.ghastlywood!

I wasn’t going to talk about this one. I tried. I really did. Ever since I hung my “couch” (In the Couch with Freddy) I’ve been purposely oblivious to media goofs such as this. But this GHALLYWOOD thing is getting to me.

When I first heard the term Ghallywood, I was hoping it was a bad joke that would die quickly. You know, one of those things that come and go in a fleeting flight of folly. It seems I underestimated our affection for the absurd, and this pains me so.

Which illiterate thought up the name Ghallywood? And which other less-than-illiterate folks decided to be disciples of that silly name?

First of all let’s be original. If we can’t be original, let’s copy wisely! Study these names wisely. Hollywood, Bollywood, and Nollywood. If you are smart enough, you will realize that only the first letters of the country/city were used. So the reason behind the name Bollywood is derived from the city Bombay, (now known as Mumbai) in India. For those of you who don’t know, Bollywood got its name because it rivaled Hollywood in the production of movies somewhere in the ’70s. Our Nigerian brothers decided to follow in that fashion and were smart about it. They settled on Nollywood. Not that Nigerian movies are that great or that they rival the movie production industry in Hollywood or Bollywood, it’s just because they are Nigerians.

Now in our haste to “belong”, we came up with the distasteful word GHALLYWOOD, going against all the rules in the game of the -WOODS. And to add to that, our movies suck! Big time. I’m talking major league sucking. They are much worse than the Nigerian movies, with the exception of a few.

I’ve seen a lot of this name loosely thrown about in the media lately and I am disappointed in the National Media Commission, the Ministry of Information, the Ghana Institute of Journalism, Actors Guild (or whatever they call themselves) and people like David Dontoh and Efo Mawugbe, who are supposed to be guardians of our arts and creativity in the country!

We really are pathetic and I am not ashamed to say it! If there are any out there who agree with me, please, let’s run it up a flagpole and make sure the message gets drummed in. GHALLYWOOD is just dumb and ugly. It’s an illiterate expression of creativity and must be buried before it begins to decay and starts to smell real bad.

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!! STOP GHALLYWOOD NOW!!!

Wei nyinaa yε nkurasesεm!

If you want to be noticed that badly, why don’t you come up with better names. In any case, why do we even want to name such a dead dog we like to think of as an industry? It’s plain silly if you ask me.

Instead of us looking for better ways to improve on the quality of the silly home videos we call movies, we are searching for names to adorn it. A monkey is still a monkey, even if you put it in Louis Vitton stilettos and wear it make-up. It is still a monkey. No more, much less. Let’s grow up and start thinking about what is important, rather than coming up with silly names that don’t add jack to sh!t.

The Rebel has spoken.

 
 

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rebel.of.honour

About two months ago, a very good friend asked that I become the maid of honour at her wedding. After she said those words to me over the phone, there was a pause and subsequently, 5-10 seconds of laughter. It was a shared joke. She and I have been friends for about 7 years now and having met on the soccer field, she knew what she was asking when she asked it. During that momentary pause in time (all of 2 seconds) I became dizzy with an assortment of thoughts; thoughts of make-up, eyebrow tweezing, high-heeled shoes, dress, nails painting, flowers and all the other out-of-character things I would have to endure. After running back and forth the tracks of this mental “ordeal”, the “honour” bit in the title entered my consciousness and the dizzying thoughts settled. So I asked, “Do I have to wear a dress?” and with that she knew that I’d already accepted the position and the rest became a part of history that will never be forgotten.

As a child, due to my very nature, I was never used as a flower girl in any wedding, and as I grew older, I preferred a more background role (taking pictures and making sure everyone followed the day’s protocol) avoiding the spotlight as much as possible. So this was the perfect opportunity to prove to the world what I was made up of as I took reigns of a prominent part in a wedding ceremony. To be honest with you I was more “afraid” than anything else. Nevertheless, I took hold of the role gladly and yet, gingerly, uncertain of what to expect, yet hopeful.

(from left to right) Naa, Marcy, Karen and the Rebel of Honour

As the days rolled closer to the D-day, it still didn’t hit me, not even when I tried on the dress. The very first reaction I got was from my younger brother was summed-up into a simple shriek (better seen than said). Turning aside from that, I showed it to the bride who thought I looked dashing so I ignored my brother.

Then on the day of the event, during my make-up session, it hit me. Real hard this time; with every stroke of the make-up brush. I knew then, that there was no use holding back, and so I let go, ridding my self of almost every Rebel Ryter attachment and allowing the Rebel of Honour spirit to take over. Evidently, after my make-up session, I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror, and as a direct result, the rest of the day was extremely surreal. Thankfully, before I could drift too far off into wonderland, I reminded myself of the very essence of the day’s event and that made every tweezed hair totally worth it. The wedding ceremony was perfect and I was proud to have been a part of it, and not just any part, a very essential and crucial part, so crucial the wedding couldn’t have gone on without me :-P.

The Rebellious Make-Up

Now to Marcelle and Tai, thanks for the wonderful experience, thanks for bringing out the woman in me (despite the fact that it was only for a few hours). All together, it was a great experience, one that I may not want to repeat too often, but would undoubtedly cherish for now and for always.

To all of you who are thinking “This is it. This is what will change Freddy. Now she’ll start making her face up to places and throw in some skirts and dresses into her wardrobe.” Well … I hate to disappoint you, but it WON’T! It will take a lot more than one pretty dress and make-up session to convert me. But I’ll be happy to do it once or twice a year, only next time I’ll charge for my service, simply because I put some umph into the ceremony.

 

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